Some days it's nice when everything else stops and we can take the time to join in someone else's celebration. Last year in August our niece Tabitha got married in Washington state. We traveled up for the wedding and met up with our in-laws on August 21st, 2010.
Little did I know that this would be the last time I would see my mother-n-law Norma in a "happy state" of mind and no significant illness that I was aware of. She was so excited to be at her grand-daughter's wedding. You could see the joy on her face.
This summer a about a year later we got a call that Norma was not doing to well. Her health had taken a drastic turn for the worse. She was needing medical attention and needed someone to look after her 24/7. We had the blessing of getting to be down in Southern California about the time all of this was taking place so we were able to spend some time with her. We were able to hold conversations with her and we were able to hug her and tell that we loved her on Friday, the 29th of July. We had told her we would be back to visit. By Sunday when we returned Norma's condition had changed even more since the two days prior. It was so hard to see how fast her condition was changing for the worse.
This week my husband traveled down south to see his Mom. This was very hard for him as he knew this may be the last time he sees her. He had some much needed time and conversations with his brothers.While Larry was gone I have had the last few days to ponder my relationship with her over the past 28+ years. I was thinking about how many of her gifts to me have been things that she has made, sewed, embroidered, crocheted etc. At the time she gave them to me I was thankful for them but I don't think I really appreciated them like I do now. I now realize that they were made with love.
Sometimes I allowed our differences to get in the way. She was not an easy person to understand. She was not an easy person to please. Often times I could not meet her expectations of how she wanted things to go. I would sometimes allow this to cloud my motives and my thinking. I wish I would have accepted our differences and put more effort into loving her anyways.
This I do know about my mother-n-law: She loves her family. She loves her sons' and her grand-kids. She loves nothing more than time with them and having pictures of them. My husband Larry is her 3rd born son.
She is now getting ready to meet her Father in heaven. Her time here on earth will soon come to an end. I pray that she will be greeted with the Father's loving arms and we will meet up with her again someday.
Shelley,
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful tribute to Norma. God works in mysterious ways and His ways are not always our ways. I am so thankful that you, Larry and the boys were able to spend special time with her in July and I know she loved the beautiful photo's you put together to display on her room wall. I love all of you so very very much! Love, Mom
Shelley, I saw on Larry's profile that he was down here. I liked that your mama made him a homemade breakfast it was so sweet. Then it turned quickly to bittersweet as I realized he was down here for his mother. My heart goes out to your father-in-law, Evan, Brent & Larry. I know they were raised to be tough men ( so glad that God allowed the way for them to show and live their gentler natures)I remember my times with Norma at Cerritos Assembly in the choir together. To be honest as well, I think she did her best to tolerate me Lol.... but I pressed on with my winning smile :). My last memory of Norma was working at TBN together. My mother got both she and my mother-in-law a job there. To this day for some reason I cannot watch that station (I am giggling asI write this) ....Memories of those two together <3 Marge went to Heaven in December 01 It was no secret that after I married her son ....what was once my friend became a foe. We tug a war'd many a years back and forth. I made a vow that when I get a daughter-in-law I will remeber my earlier lessons in life. My mother-in- law and I came full circle we cherished eachother. Marge died from Alzheimers... God blessed me with the privaledge to care for her it was a wonderful gift for me as I look back upon it now. It was ironic as well that in the end I was the only one she recognized from time to time and what was the most wonderful of it all she called me "Sweetheart for the last 2 & 1/2 years of her life....and that was from her heart <3 I am so glad that you have special memories & homemade gifts from Norma to treasure and possibly pass down. I love her smiling face in the pictures you posted. I will continue to pray for you all as dear Norma transitions to Glory..... and Look forward to the day that I can sing praises to our Heavenly Father with Norma once again <3 God's Love & Blessing's to the Merrill's
ReplyDeleteNorma is my elder sister. There were four of us until in 2005, Bertie, our "baby sister" went to be with the Lord. In 2007, oldest sister, Betty followed so now there are only the two of us. "Toots" they called Norma, was swept away by a Navy man's charm and they will have been married 54 years on the 13th of this month...something to be very proud of. I know it wasn't easy. Norma prayed for and would have given birth to a baby girl, Carol Ann but there were problems and so her heart was broken. Very soon now, she will be meeting Jesus and Carol Ann as well as our Mom & Dad, sisters Betty and Bertie and brother Bill who died in 2002. I would love to see her face then. Heartaches gone, no more pain, no more misunderstandings, just peace and joy forever. What a hope!
ReplyDeleteShelly, Your tribute to Norma is beautiful.It was loving and honest. I too wish that I could be more like our Lord and love inspite of my character flaws and those of others. We are praying for the good that Jesus can bring out of the situation. Love Lynette
ReplyDeleteGod Bless and keep you and your family, Larry, Brent, and Evan! I am so thankful that this seperation is only temporary! Praise God we will all be together in heaven!! I love you guys! Norma may you rest in peace! xoxo Vickie
ReplyDeleteYour words of my Aunt Norma reminded me so much of my momma Bertie, her sister. They were a lot a like it seems. My momma could be very hard to understand and at times seemed so hard to please as well, but I always knew her love was unconditional. I know now because of your open and honest words of love how they shared similar characteristics. I believe it was because how they were raised. I always thought of it as Indian pride, the teachings of being strong and holding your head up high through the tough times were passed on through the family ties we all share. Your words reminded my heart to stay strong through my own trials.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't been able to be close to my Aunts over the years, mainly because of distance issues, so I thank God that I got to see Aunt Norma last year when her and Uncle stopped in Grants Pass to have dinner with all of us kids. She sat next to me, talked to me so quietly and sweetly, and helped me through a personal issue in relation to family ties. She helped me to understand things in a much brighter light and to forgive not just others, but myself.
Something else very dear to me that she did was to make all of us cousins up here in Southern Oregon albums of our family history a couple of years back; in doing so she answered a question of a lifetime for me. I had always wondered what tribe our Great-mother came from. The answer she gave, Oneida Indian, I have sense been able to study up on and fill that deep desire to reconnect in our heritage. Mom always thought it was Cherokee and wasn't sure of what tribe of Cherokee, so I could never connect to a specific area or peoples. This was so very important to me and since have always been thankful for the time she spent putting all those albums together, writing on the backs who, where, and when the pictures were taken. She reconnected our families and I so loved her for her efforts.
I will miss you Aunt Norma, but will also know you are with my Momma, our grandparents, and all those we love and cherish in hearts that have gone ahead.
Thank you Shelly for your beautiful words and giving us all the privileged of saying something in return.
Much love to you all.
Cousin Kathy
Thank you to all of you for your encouraging words. God is so faithful. With Norma going on to join her loved ones in heaven it has been a great reminder to me that this world is not our home. We all are only passing thru...
ReplyDeleteThis is our hope we have in Jesus!